Do you ever feel like the world is spinning without you?
You look around and it seems like everyone you know has a nicer house, newer car, more talented kids. Then you look at your own life and see a mess.
The only time the house gets picked up is in the 5 minute interval when someone says they are on their way. The kids fight all the time, you’re tired and drug through the mud.
Yeah, I’ve been there.
At the time it seemed like everyone had it together, except me. And it wasn’t from lack of trying. I am a reading addict. I’ve read countless books on parenting, scheduling, cleaning schedules (hello, Fly Lady), you name it. And while they gave me great advice on how to implement these techniques, the truth was, most of them didn’t stick.
Maybe it was because I was trying too hard. I was trying to achieve that look you see on social media. Except it’s not real.
I’ve watched seemingly close families fall apart, including my own. We are all trying to live up to a lie. I’ve asked my mom and my grandma how they managed it all when their kids were younger. They worked and raised 3 kids each.
I remember as a child always having to clean the house on Saturday mornings. We had a routine in those days – cereal (or donuts from the local bakery), cartoons, then house cleaning. And you weren’t allowed out for the day until the house was clean. I remember my mom calling me back in the house 3 times to clean the same end table. You would think after being called back on the first try I would get it right, but I was too anxious to get outside and ride my bike.
But I also remember that sports were only on Saturday afternoons or after school and we didn’t participate in every sport or club known to man. So, home time was much more significant than today’s modern family. And I think that may be part of the problem.
I remember when my oldest was in first grade, everyone had a Nintendo DS but her. I was determined not to get caught up in the technology cycle so many kids were already in. I managed to hold out until the end of the school year, but we went on a trip to Disney and that was the end of my holdout.
She still likes to play video games and she’s almost 23. So, I guess it was kind of inevitable.
I raised my kids in the great technology boom. I was semi-raised in it, with our first PC when I was in high school. I can’t say I blame anyone for getting caught up in it because I went to college for IT.
But social media changed that game. I can’t help but think that the constant images and reels of everyone trying to look their best have opened Pandora’s box.
It goes something like this… I’ll just hop on for a minute to see what the family is up to (hey, it’s a good excuse). Oh look, a girl I went to school with just bought a new house (twice as big as my own). How did she manage to achieve that level of success and I didn’t? Must be something I’m doing wrong.
And so I go down the rabbit hole of searching for that life. And the only thing I found was unhappiness because that life (at least for me) doesn’t exist. That’s not the life God chose for me. I’m a cradle Catholic and I ought to know better.
Wishing for someone else’s life will not change the direction God is leading you. Instead, I’m overlooking the one He did give me. And to tell you the truth, it’s amazing. I have three healthy children, a good job, a good home, and a good husband. It took many years to see what was right in front of me the whole time.
I think the one thing that made it stick to see how good a life I had was to almost lose it all. I’ve been deathly ill more than once in my life. Lyme disease and a botched surgery took me to my lowest points in life. And when I got back up, the fog had cleared.
So, while I was feeling sorry for myself during those times, God was changing my heart to see what I really had before me.
A lot has changed since those days. I have a new mindset of blessings and they have nothing to do with the material world.
I have life, I have health, I have freedom, and I have my faith.
That same faith has sustained me through all of it, good and bad. That same faith made me change my ways and leave it to God to know what’s best for me.
I still use books to help me grow as a wife, Christian, and mom, but I do more than read about life, I live it. And I grow with it.
My rosary is my trusted friend and has done more to change my attitude than anything else, besides the bible. I start the morning off with my rosary, coffee and prayers.
And the day always goes better because of it. Not because I manage to avoid any disasters or trouble, but rather because I’m prepared for it. My mind is now clear to battle the devils deceptions and I have a better understanding of what my life is supposed to be.
Friends, if you want to have that fulfilling life, put down the phones and pick up the bible and rosary. I guarantee it will change your life and help you achieve that peace you are looking for, even in the midst of the daily battles.
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